The Crying Woman

A story from the heart of healthcare

By Dr. Gan Chia Ying, Medical Director, BIGTREE Medicare & Nursing Home

The delivery rider’s timing was both tragic and fortunate.

She was ninety-two, had lived alone for years with quiet dignity. That afternoon, she ordered food as she always did. But when the doorbell rang and she hurried to answer it, she never made it to the door. She fell right there in her home.

Hip fracture. It’s one of the most common and most dreaded injuries we see in the elderly.

In Malaysia, falls among our elderly population present a significant healthcare challenge. Research shows that 32.8% of elderly residents in nursing homes experience falls annually, while community-dwelling elderly face a 4.07% annual fall rate. What’s particularly concerning is that elderly who live alone—like our patient—face 2.6 times higher risk of falling.

Fortunately, the delivery rider found her and called for help. She was rushed to the hospital, and after much persuasion, she finally agreed to surgery. A few days later, she was transferred to our care facility.

The Crying

When she arrived, her shoulders were slumped, her eyes swollen, and all the life had drained from her spirit.

She cried from morning until night.

We would ask her questions—she cried. We brought her meals—she cried. Even in complete silence, she cried.

She barely touched her food. Every few hours, she would softly call out her children’s names, hoping they would come to see her.

But life is complicated. Her children had their own families, careers, and responsibilities—they simply couldn’t get away.

We Chinese have a saying: “The child who cries gets the candy.”

But for the elderly, crying doesn’t bring comfort—it only brings deeper silence.

In the end, they must wipe away their own tears.

As a family physician, I evaluated her condition and diagnosed geriatric depression. I began her treatment. Over the following days, she gradually stopped crying. Her eyes remained hollow, but at least she started eating small amounts.

The Moment Everything Changed

A few days later, during my ward rounds, I approached her bedside.

She looked at me quietly, saying nothing, then slowly reached out and took my hand.

She gently pulled my arm close, rested her cheek against it, and fell asleep just like that.

Right there in her wheelchair, cradling my arm, sleeping as peacefully as a child.

I didn’t move. She looked so serene—I couldn’t bear to disturb her.

So I awkwardly used my left hand to flip through her chart and write my notes.

When my arm finally became too sore to bear, I asked a nurse to bring a pillow to gently replace the arm she was holding.

What I Know About Touch

This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened.

Many patients respond similarly—they don’t speak, but they communicate through gestures, glances, and touch, conveying a wordless trust.

They never say it out loud, but I know: my hands are warm.

They always hold on especially tight, especially long. I can feel that dependence and trust. It’s a comfort that transcends words, sometimes more powerful than any treatment.

At BIGTREE Medicare, we understand that genuine healthcare extends far beyond medical procedures and medications. In our work, we provide medications, meals, therapies, and nursing care. But the hardest thing to give is two simple words: companionship.

True companionship isn’t just “having someone there.” It requires emotion, time, and connection. And these are precisely the most difficult things to sustain in modern healthcare.

Not every caregiver can provide emotional care; not every patient is willing to open their heart. Language barriers, cultural differences, personality traits—all make this process even more challenging.

This is why we reject the one-size-fits-all approach that characterizes much of eldercare today. Each person who comes to us brings their own story, their own fears, their own need for human connection. Our personalized care plans consider not just medical needs, but emotional and social well-being too.

The Bigger Picture

Her story reminds me again: elderly people like her—living alone, frail, prone to falls—we’ve seen far too many.

As Malaysia rapidly transitions toward an aging society, with 11.6% of our population now aged 60 and above, these challenges will only intensify. By 2040, over 17% of Malaysians will be elderly, yet we currently have only 19 MOH licensed nursing homes nationwide to serve this growing population.

Falls are extremely common among the elderly. Especially those living alone—muscle loss, osteoporosis, unsafe home environments—each factor increases the risk.

What’s even more frightening is that some elderly people, after falling, go unnoticed for hours, even days.

She was lucky—she fell just as her food was being delivered, so help arrived quickly. But not everyone has such fortune.

I keep wondering—what more can we do? Can we intervene earlier?

If we could intervene earlier—osteoporosis screening, strength training, high-protein nutrition, home safety assessments, regular health checkups—perhaps we could prevent many tragedies.

But I also understand that when you’re old and alone, even “planning for the future” becomes a luxury.

What I Dream Of

So I often think: what if there were a mobile care team dedicated to providing support for high-risk elderly like her—regular visits, health screenings, home safety evaluations, psychological support…

Perhaps then they wouldn’t need to enter nursing homes so quickly. Perhaps they could age safely and peacefully in their own homes.

This vision aligns with our broader mission at BIGTREE Medicare. We’re not just a nursing home—we’re Melaka’s first integrated nursing home facility, designed to support families across the entire aging journey. Our partnership with the future BIGTREE Residences represents this commitment to comprehensive care, from independent living to full medical support when needed.

We believe that professional medical care and Malaysian family values aren’t contradictory—they’re complementary. Every elderly person deserves to be treated not as a case number, but as someone’s beloved parent, grandparent, or friend.

Our 24/7 skilled nursing care, advanced rehabilitation services, and holistic wellness programs are all designed around one simple principle: everyone deserves to age with dignity, surrounded by warmth and professional medical excellence.

This may just be my dream, but as long as I remain in this position, I’m willing to continue using my hands to accompany them through this journey.

These warm hands are the most genuine care I can offer.

About the Author

Dr. Gan Chia Ying is a family medicine specialist practicing in Melaka, where she serves as medical director of BIGTREE Medicare and Person In Charge of Bachang Charity Dialysis Center. Through her work in eldercare, community health, and charitable healthcare services, she witnesses daily the challenges and victories of aging with dignity.

Need Support for Your Loved One?

If this story resonates with your family’s experiences, you’re not alone. At BIGTREE Medicare & Nursing Home, we provide professional medical care with Malaysian family values. Our team understands the emotional journey of eldercare decisions and is here to support both patients and families.

Contact us at +6012 685 5103 or visit www.bigtree.care to learn how we can help your family navigate this important journey with dignity and compassion.

Located at 1, Jalan Pinggiran Kota Laksamana, Melaka 75200 – Melaka’s first Ministry of Health-licensed integrated nursing home.